Well folks. The scary part is over. My Mom's heart surgery went SPECTACULARLY well and she is very far ahead of schedule in terms of how she is progressing. She was out of the ICU in 24 hours and moved into her own room. Next week the hard work of coming home, cardiac rehab and the 3 month road to recovery begins. It will be the first time I do Thanksgiving dinner at my Mom's house. It's something I didn't expect to happen for another 30 years. That being said, I'm up for the challenge.
No matter what the doctors tell you and how prepared you think you are for the first 24 hours, you are never ready for it. That first visit is hard. You don't expect it. the tubes, the wires. You just don't. It's frightening and just too much to handle. Then things get better, eyes open, hands move, fingers squeezed. Then you know they will make it. You can see it. Things are better and they are good.
While this was the longest 48 hours of my life, I can't imagine what it was like for my mom. Though earlier today she didn't know what day it was.
I didn't get to do any journaling in the waiting room. It was too crowded, too many family members I've not seen in years and too hard to focus on pencil, ink and brush. Later when I came home for the evening I did manage to get a page done, only because I felt I had to get that feeling onto the page. It's stiff, gray and white on a colored background. Pencil and gesso. It was necessary for me to get that onto paper. It gives me an indication of how hard this was, how raw my nerves are and the intensity of the waiting room. Will I show this work? I'm not sure. i'll need to give this some time. I may block out part of the imagery, it's raw and personal. Its the open wound of my emotions on paper, and frankly I'm not sure if right now I'm that brave.
Hi, leslie, I'm a former custom customer who regularly reads your blog, just wanted you to know I'm glad your mom is okay. I think it's great that you deal with your difficult feelings by getting them down on the page, inspirational to me. Anyway, I hope all continues to go well. Blessings, Olivia
Posted by: Olivia Brown | November 21, 2009 at 12:11 PM
I haven't been reading blogs for a while. Work is kicking my butt, so I'm just seeing about your mom. I'm glad everthing went well. My mom had a scare a while back, too, and it all turned out fine. We're blessed. :)
Lisa
Posted by: Lisa | November 21, 2009 at 03:02 PM
thanks Lisa, i appreciate it! My Mom is doing better than expectations and the surgery went textbook, so that is all very good. Im hoping to get to spend some time with her to get her settled when she comes home. She cant wait to get out of the hospital!
@Olivia. Thanks. Ive had a lot going on recently, the last year or so has been much like this. Im glad to see that your still reading. Ive got all the parts for your book ready to go and maybe when things even out Ill be able to finish it.
Posted by: leslie herger | November 21, 2009 at 03:29 PM
Hey, you hang in there and I send many prayers to your Mom first and then to you and the rest of your family. And you will be a STAR at Thanksgiving I just know it!! Sharon
Posted by: Sharon Bennett | November 21, 2009 at 07:12 PM